Thursday, January 1, 2015

{About} The Man I Married

I once dated a 'nice Christian guy' who shared these lovely words:
If I ever cheat on you, it's because my dad cheated on my mom.

I wish I could say I said "see ya!" right then & there.  Honestly, I still can't believe I didn't react at all.  He was attending college an hour east of home, and I was attending school 2 1/2 hours west of home.  By that point in time, I couldn't see our relationship lasting forever anyway.  It was merely a relationship of convenience.

A month or so later, I decided we were truly done--but, you'll never hear me call him a liar!

Then there was the next guy I dated. The one I would would marry.  His parents hadn't had a good relationship, either--he had never witnessed them particularly liking each other, let alone being in love.  And you know what he said to me?
I really like you.  And I want to date only you.

And as our relationship deepened and the topic of marriage was starting to near, he said:
I'm getting married once. For life. For love. If there's a chance we won't have that, we can't get married.

And I'll never forget the night we sat on my parents' deck, and with tears in his eyes & a quiver in his voice he whispered:
I just want to be a good dad.

It will be 19 years ago this month that the conversations with Mike began.  The conversations in which our relationship grew and deepened.  When I gained a more serious view of marriage--not just because I wanted to marry Mike, but because he took wisdom and insight from his parents' failed marriage and shared with me (a girl whose parents were still married to each other) that commitment isn't something to take for granted.

And over the years, Mike has gotten it right, time & time again.  He not only loves me unconditionally, but continues to be my best friend.  He doesn't waste time pouring into appearances--instead, he puts the effort into relationships with his wife, kids, and friends.  We rarely look 'perfect'--and that is exactly Mike's goal.

Today, I look at Mike's role as daddy, and tears well up in my eyes as I see all his fears were for naught.  From attending nearly every kids activity, to coaching when his schedule allows, to driving kids to doctor appointments & movie theaters, he has fully embraced his role as we parent together.  Right now we are entering unknown territory--2 kids in jr high who need to start being guided in making right choices and with whom he discusses what does it mean to 'like someone'?  We have a 2 year old who needs to start potty training, a foster daughter who will most likely become our little girl within the next year, another foster baby who we cherish as our own but will most likely return to her birth mom, and a 10 year old daughter who needs to not get lost in the midst of it all.  For every dynamic, he is there.

Mike, thank you for putting God first and me and the kids immediately after.  I can't imagine a better example of who our girls need to fall for and who our boys need to model.  I love you! ~LeAnne

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