The Power of a 7th Grader {and a mama's pride}

Most days, I really like my little town. If I'm truly honest, I actually consider it Mike's town, as he was born and raised here--I married into it. But it's also home for our kids, and that part is my favorite. It's where they continue to build and grow friendships. It's where they began their schooling at a wonderful elementary school, and where two of them now attend the junior high. While the school aspect will never be "perfect" (because, plain and simple, none of us are perfect), I am thankful for the teachers who encourage, challenge, educate and affirm my kids every year.

It is within those challenges, those pushes to reach something greater, that Connor currently sits. The end of the year is a big one for him and the other kids in his Language Arts class. It's a place where their current project consumes their classroom time and extends well into the night at home. A project where even moms now play a big role as they share their sons' and daughters' project information on their Facebook pages. Through the Facebook shares, I have gotten to witness these 7th graders passions, pleasures, hobbies, entrepreneurship, and hearts for various philanthropies. From Africa to our little town, these kids are bringing awareness to various needs. The kids are helping out. Making a difference. Sharing information. Growing in knowledge and confidence as they create websites, blogs, spreadsheets and products.

I know this assignment isn't an easy one. I'm sure it has brought tears, do-overs, and switching topics completely. Even Connor put his hands on his head last night and stated, "Running a business is HARD!"

But, isn't that the best way to learn? To dig deep and strive hard? And fail? Then succeed? I'll be honest--when my daughter Kaitlin did this project last year, I wasn't too sure about it. I felt it was too much to put on a 7th grader's shoulders. I was wrong. I have loved reading what these 7th graders in my quiet town are doing to make a difference.  Here are a few of their website links and topics. Here is our future:

Klop Incorporated  Where my son Connor is making paracord bracelets, selling them, and giving 25% of his proceeds to our foster care agency.

The DIY Hot Spot Where Kyra focuses on recreating Pinterest fails, and provides honest insight into the world of craft projects.

Honor Veterans Project Where Rebekah & Katlin are bringing awareness to our local Veterans Memorial Fund and sharing info regarding not just donations, but the opportunity to purchase a paver and even a bench so the Memorial can be built. A wonderful tribute to Rebekah's brother, who died way too soon.

Our Steps to End Hunger in Africa Where Lindsay & Lauren are educating on hunger in Africa. Info includes many statistics, providing information on Unicef, and speaking at a local elementary school.

The Go To Where Keaton & Tristan provide daily insight and information to all things within the NHL, NBA, NFL & MLB sports professions.

TrueHop Where Max & Jake critique movies new to theaters and DVD films, adding new reviews on a weekly basis.

So much talent, so much heart. So proud to call this place home.

copyright 2015 LeAnne Klopfenstein

Diapers + Kmart + Shop Your Way Rewards = AMAZING Deal

I'm great at telling friends when I find a fun way to save some money, but it's never anything I blog about. And chances are, this will be the one and only time I actually sit down and consider something I'm doing to save money worthy of typing and sharing with others. But I've found a pretty good rhythm and after tracking for several months, figured it was worthy to pass along!

Here's the scoop on my household:  In 2014, we gained a newborn foster daughter in March. And then another in September! Throw in our toddler who turned two in May 2014, and it's safe to assume we buy--and use!--many, many diapers. Since we suddenly had 3 children in diapers, I started looking around to see whether a local store or Amazon was the best route to go in making the best purchase.  The factors:

• I have to purchase Luvs diapers for two of the kids. I've tried Huggies, Pampers, various store brands, and Luvs. For whatever reason, Luvs are the ones that work the best for their body shapes. And since two kids need Luvs, it is easiest for me to buy them for all three kids.
• I checked prices at Walmart, Kroger, Kmart & Amazon. 
• Size 2 diapers cannot be found in the largest boxes at any stores. I found the best purchase route for size 2 Luvs to be through Amazon Prime (You could do find with just Amazon and then making another small purchase for free shipping, but it takes MUCH longer for the diapers to arrive!).

My town still has a Kmart, and I was surprised to find the price per diaper for size 5 Luvs was cheaper at Kmart than Walmart (I researched last fall, so there is a chance that has recently changed). It was also cheaper to go to Kmart than to purchase size 5 through Amazon!

I already had the Kmart "Shop Your Way" rewards card, but I rarely used it or shopped there. And when I began getting diapers there, I was so confused by the savings program (I was never saving any money with the card), I just figured it was a crock.  But once I figured it out, the savings began to really show!

HOW TO SAVE MONEY AT KMART

• Attach your email and your phone number (cell if you have one) to your account when you open one.
• Get the SHOP YOUR WAY Rewards app added to your phone. (Or utilize the website and your email address if you don't have a smart phone).

• Load coupons to your account via the app.  SPECIFICALLY, ADD Kmart "$10 in points on $50 Storewide"

• One box of 112 Size 5 Luvs costs $25.99.  I either buy two boxes of size 5, or get one box 148 Size 3, which are also $25.99.

Ideally, I only buy the two boxes of diapers to maximize the potential deal.  So, even if you have no need for diapers, you can still shoot for a $50 purchase total each time and come up with a similar scenario.

Once I get the two boxes of diapers and get ready to check out, I give the cashier my phone number so that the purchase gets connected to my account.  That will add the bonus point ($10 in points) onto my account towards a future purchase.  The receipt below has over 20,000 points, which means I've accrued what amounts to a $20 store credit.

**In order to utilize your savings on a future purchase, you will need to be very proactive and tell the cashier you want to use your points. You then provide your pin code, and the amount will be taken off of your total. You need 10,000 points or more in order to use your points.

What is incredible is the fact the "$10 in points on $50 Storewide" coupon is almost always available!  So I am continually adding it to my account.  I typically do a couple diaper shopping trips before I use the credit towards other items. And it does take several days for the point amount to show up on the app, but the store receipt updates immediately.

And, when you spend over $50, you get a coupon to save $0.30/gallon at BP! At the BP gas pump, I simply press 'pay inside', fill my tank, and then use the discount code inside the gas station to get the discount.  That amounts to over $5.00 savings every fill-up. Compare that to getting $0.10/gallon for every $100 spent at Kroger--it's a great deal.

Between the points coupon and the gas deal, I'm basically getting back $15 for every $50 I spend (or saving, or accruing...however you want to look at it).  No matter how it's viewed, I've benefitted quite a bit from the Shop Your Way rewards program, and will continue to save hundreds of dollars simply by buying diapers at Kmart.

copyright 2015 LeAnne Klopfenstein

From 'Foster Kid' to 'Pastor's Kid' {And the Change in Me}

It was a beautiful fall day....nice and sunny, and warm enough to still have all the windows in the house open. The three big kids were at school, Mike was at work, and I was enjoying a peaceful day at home--just me and the 16 month old. A quiet day of sorting, washing, and folding laundry.

I brought up a basket of warm, clean clothes from the laundry room and dumped it onto the floor.  Charlie squealed and ran over to the pile and plopped right on top. He giggled, threw socks up in the air, and giggled some more. He stood up, flopped back down, threw more clothes, giggled, and continued the routine over & over.

My hands stopped mid-fold and I just watched. Charlie had no idea of the momentous thing that was scheduled to occur in a month--his adoption. A boy completely unaware of how God had dramatically shifted his life when his birth parents surrendered their rights.  When, in that moment, Charlie's case moved from a murky 'return home' status that didn't look like would ever happen, to a clear 'adoption status' within our family.

Charlie was switching from "Foster Child" to "Pastor's Kid"...a move that would replace a history of brokenness. A history for which I now had far more empathy; parents who couldn't really parent because they had never experienced love or goodness themselves.  Parents who had both experienced abuse, neglect, abandonment, and for one of Charlie's parents, their own foster care journey.  Parents who themselves had been robbed of safe and secure childhoods. My attitude had shifted from irritation towards birth parents ("How can you be so irresponsible and not know how to get your act together?") to utter sadness ("Why weren't you given the chance to be protected?").

And I offered up a prayer of gratitude from the depths of my soul: "Lord, thank you. Thank you for breaking the generational cycle with Charlie."

What happened next is something I haven't experienced in such a way prior, and might possibly never experience again. Because God responded with words I heard clear as day: "But don't you see LeAnne?  I broke the generational cycle with YOU."

I dropped the laundry, dropped to my knees, and began to sob. It was so easy for me to see the messiness of other's lives that I had failed to see the change within my own. Don't get me wrong; Mike and I were both raised by parents who constantly gave (and still give) to others. We'd each done mission trips, had volunteered since we were teens, and had numerous jobs (both paid and volunteer) that involved serving & helping others.  It was a precedent set by our parents that we had continued within our own marriage.

But the biggest thing about all those "good things"?  They were temporary; we could serve, help, give, provide for, and encourage others, and then go back to our everyday lives.  At the end of the day, we could retreat to the safety and security of our own home.

By becoming foster parents, we had done something brand new--instead of shutting out the messiness, we had invited it right in and introduced it to our kids.  Caseworkers. Parents who weren't married to each other.  Dads in jail. Moms who had abused drugs. Licensing workers who make sure our house passes inspection.  All things that result in the same event; kids who aren't allowed to live with their own mom and dad. And since they couldn't live at their own home, they lived in ours.

I'm so thankful God moved us out of our "Christian Bubble" and asked us to serve within our home. Our kids were 9, 7 & 5 when we became a licensed foster family. Now, at 14, 13 & 10 I see how God is already giving them a world view that allows them to serve in a greater fashion than I ever did at such a young age. They don't have stereotypes regarding foster care because they live the real thing. They know every case is unique in and of itself, and sometimes the successful outcome means a child goes home, and other times it means a child needs to be adopted. Our kids know that every child deserves love, and they pour it out so very naturally to every child who stays with us.

And for the children who stay and become our biological kids' legal & forever siblings? That's a more precious sight and relationship than I could ever properly put into words. God has blessed us beyond measure, changed my life for the better, and I cannot wait to see the ways He grows and shapes our kids to keep serving Him.

copyright 2015 LeAnne Klopfenstein

{Please} Don't call me a Good Foster Parent

Five years ago, Mike and I were called to something new. Something completely foreign. Unknown. We were nervous, unsure of the needed steps, and completely blind as to where the journey would take our family. We stepped out in faith--because we were called, and because it was the right thing to do.

We became foster parents.

copyright 2015 LeAnne Klopfenstein

To say we got off to a slow start would be an understatement. It took 6 months before we did respite care and then those children became our first placement--both things triggered because we offered to care for the foster children of some of our friends. When the placement ended, we put our license on hold for nearly a year--and then went back to waiting for the phone to ring.

Finally, the phone rang in the fall of 2011, and we slowly got into a rhythm. We had two short-term placements over the course of 4 months, and then our first long-term placement came in June 2012. That "rhythm period" is still ongoing, and has involved many people:  4 licensing workers, 2 case workers, 4 judges, an adoption lawyer, and 1 adoption specialist. State's attorneys, Guardian ad Litems, Case Review administrators, and many people within our agency who have varied roles and responsibilities. We've learned new terminology and feel relatively knowledgeable of how court hearings progress.

Through it all, there is a phrase to which I'm becoming more and more sensitive. What used to feel like praise brings immense heartache:
You're one of the good foster families.  {or} We love having good foster parents like you!

Quite simply, I should not stand out! I want to be as average as they come. Don't the kids within the foster care system deserve equal love & attention? To know they matter? To find security in the midst of their uncertain world?

• My house isn't big. And it's never immaculate.
• We aren't wealthy. I've learned the art of humility when family & friends help meet our needs.
• I'm irritated when our foster daughter's mom doesn't show up for her weekly visits....and then I struggle on the weeks mom does arrive. It's a constant battle against self.
• Yes, there is pain & loss when a child leaves our home. We haven't become immune, and are left raw every time.
• I get frustrated with "the system" when we have to wait an additional 5 weeks for an MRI because the first set of paperwork didn't get completed by the state in time.
• Knowing we are the 24/7 caregivers yet are merely the 'temporary' solution until the child goes home or until an adoption is finalized stings a bit.
• I'm frustrated when the phone doesn't ring...and then I panic when we do get a call to take a child. It's a constant prayer of wondering what God wants us to do at any given moment or situation.

But within all my struggles of self, the key needs for each child are met in the simplest ways.

• Love.  Every child is cared for, provided for, and protected. Everyone deserves love.
• Laughter. Silliness brings a joy to me, Mike, our own kids, and to our foster kids. Everyone deserves joy.
• Security.  Quite simply, we are here to bring peace to those in turmoil. Everyone deserves peace.
• Consistency. To sleep in the same bed each night. To have a daily routine. Learn good behaviors. It takes time. Everyone deserves patience.
• Kindness and praise. Affirmation is so very powerful. Everyone deserves kindness.
• Compassion.  Overcome their hurt with good things. Everyone deserves goodness.
• Steadiness. To know their foster parents are always rooting for them. Everyone deserves faithfulness.
• Soft words. Some children have never heard anything except shouting. Everyone deserves gentleness.
• Healthy discipline. It puts the needs of the child above my selfish attitude. Everyone deserves to have someone model self-control.

The simplest things are the things that matter most. And my biggest prayer is for others to step out beyond all their inadequacies and, quite simply, meet the needs that matter so that I can become just an average foster parent.

copyright 2015 LeAnne Klopfenstein

"My Daddy!" {the beauty of adoption}

Any mom will tell you she loves all her kids the same.  But if she is honest, a mom can list specific things about each child that add layers to her unique, individual love for them.  From the ways they laugh or dance around, to the ways they overcome challenges & fears, those connections fill a mama's heart.

Kaitlin~  She's my 14 going on 23 girl.  Confident, independent and a natural-born leader.  Full of compassion and laughter.  Sometimes my biggest challenge, but also the biggest forgiver I've ever met.  The one I see myself in more often than I'd like to admit.  Above all, she made me a mama, and blessed me with so many "firsts"--my first positive pregnancy test, first ultrasound, first time I got to name a person.  I pray those first moments continue with her for a very long time.

Connor~ My almost-a-teenager guy.  The kid I have the hardest time following through with discipline and "tough love" when needed because he reminds me so much of his daddy.  The boy who looks just like my brothers, yet has my husband's humor and charisma imbedded into his DNA.  My 7th grader who is still my sweet boy.  And I love the way he has always rooted for the "outsiders" and stood up to bullies on their behalf--even in the midst of feeling a little on the outside himself.

Kylie~  My 10 year old peacemaker.  The girl I wish my grandma was still alive to see; I am convinced that she is JUST like my own mom as a child, for she reminds me of my grown mom nearly every day.  A delightful combination of quiet and hilarious.  She constantly puts the desires of others above her own and is the peacekeeper.  Kylie's discernment of right & wrong is almost always accurate and present.  I love the way she is a tried and true friend, caring cousin, and compassionate sister.

And then there is Charlie.

Charlie, the 2 year old who lives to make us laugh.  The blue-eyed blonde who runs around his daddy's office (AKA the church office) slapping high-fives, giving fist-bumps, and helping himself to the M&M stash.

Charlie, who I still stare at in wonder that he is truly ours.  The boy who I know I didn't birth yet feel like I did birth all at the same time.  The boy who was born as the perfect sibling for my older three--the one who joins them all together. The boy I look at with awe because God chose us to become his forever family.

Charlie, the boy who looks out the window, sees Mike coming home from work, and hollers two words that bring a lump to my throat every time:

"MY DADDY!!"

"My Daddy"--it sums up Charlie's love and adoration of Mike.  It reveals to me in a very concrete way how Mike has stepped in a filled a gap in Charlie's life the same way God stepped in and filled a gap in my life when I accepted Christ as my Savior.  And it's because of the love God has for me--for Charlie--for all of us--that will allow us to explain Charlie's adoption to him in a beautiful way as he gets older and begins asking questions.

I am so grateful that God has allowed me to be a mom.  And the fact that adoption was part of His plan?  That's pretty special, too.

Praise God for Caseworkers {especially mine}.

I'll never forget that first phone call.  The first time I heard her voice.  The first time I heard her name.

"Hi, my name is Devan and I've been assigned as Allie's caseworker.  Can I come over in an hour to meet her?  My supervisor will be coming, too."

Allie* was a precious 6 month old who had come to us a few days prior.  Because her placement had occurred over the weekend, we knew a caseworker for our new foster daughter wouldn't be assigned until Monday.  It was now that day.

I rushed around the house; picking up toys, straightening pillows on the couch, putting dishes in the dishwasher; praying that not only would my house pass inspection, but that I would, too.  We had only had one short term placement within the past 5 months--that was after the 1 year "sabbatical" we had taken because we questioned if we had misread God's plan for us to become foster parents.

Fostering was still a very new, unknown road for our family.

As I held Allie against my hip with one hand and wiped off the kitchen counter with the other, there was a knock at the door.  I took a deep breath (maybe even two deep breaths) and opened the door.  But instead of seeing two people, I only saw one.

"Hi there!  I'm Devan.  We realized this morning I had enough hours in to come by myself, so my supervisor didn't need to come with me."

Oh, no.  Someone brand new?  Paired with foster parents who still don't have a clue about how this whole thing works?  Cases are all so unique, so different.  I hope I can handle this!

~~~~~~~~~~~~

That conversation, and my first interactions with Devan, took place exactly 3 years ago.  Allie didn't stay in our home for very long (her godmother desired to keep Allie until mom could get her back), but I enjoyed that little bit of time with both Allie and Devan.  It was clear God had called us to foster, regardless of the outcome.

Then, two months after Allie left, we got a call to take in a 3 week old baby boy.  Once the investigator placed him in our home, it triggered for our agency to have his case.  And the caseworker?  Devan.

I wasn't as nervous this time, and Devan appeared more relaxed and confident, too.  Not only did Charlie become our first long term placement, but by the time he was 6 months old we knew he was going to become our first adoption.  The length of time from Charlie's placement in our home to his adoption was 18 months.

• 18 months in which Devan not only spent time developing a relationship with Charlie, but with our family, too.  
• 18 months in which Devan began bringing new caseworkers with her when we had court hearings, home visits, and an adoption home study.  During that time I watched the former newbie become a very capable and qualified trainer.
• 18 months that, when they ended due to the adoption, left me a little sad because Devan had no reason to come to our house anymore.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

But God, in a way that can only be explained as His Perfect Plan, gave us Devan as a caseworker not once, but twice, during 2014.  Both cases are still open and active, right within our home.  Two cases that, while completely separate from one another, connect together in ways that are truly unbelievable.  And the only other person walking step by step on this crazy, amazing, surreal road of court hearings, home visits, and case reviews is Devan.

• Devan, who now teaches Domestic Violence classes at our agency.
• Devan, who just this month began working on gaining her Master's Degree.
• Devan, who I believe will walk the tough, hectic, and burdensome road of being a social worker for a very long time.

And I'm forever grateful.


*name changed

Blessings in my Every Day Life

Last week, I had a clever Facebook status in my head that I couldn't wait to type.  And as I drove around town, I believed I could turn the status into a witty and funny blog post.  The gist of it went something like this:

If any entrepreneurs are looking for a booming new business idea, here ya go--oil change stations geared towards moms that allow everyone to stay in the car during an oil change!

The blog would've expanded on fun ideas involving Starbucks coffee delivered to your driver window, and clean bathrooms with diaper changing stations for those who had a desire to exit their vehicles.  And so on, and so forth.

The truth is, I was extremely overdue for an oil change.  And while I manage (albeit barely)  a 2 year old, 10 month old, and 4 month old at doctor appointments, the thought of attempting an oil change with my 3 little ones wasn't something I've had the energy to tackle.  My excuse list is long and very legit.  If only we could stay in the car!  Then everything would be 'perfect'.

The day I came up with my fun oil change idea was the day before Mike & I were driving to Chicago.  I was at my parents' house.  And when I left my parents' I was heading to my sister's house to let out her dog.  Guess what's directly on the route from Point A to Point B?  My stinking oil change station!!

Guilt & responsibility overtook me and I turned down the street of The Grease Spot.  I took a deep breath and prepared to 'stick it out' and not just drive past it.  Lord, help me!

• Not one single car was at The Grease Spot.  At 12:30.  No one.  No. One.
• I was greeted by 2 kind and efficient gentleman who have previously worked on the van.  One ran over and opened the store's door for me.
• I got to wait in the tiny waiting room all alone.  Which is good, because the 4 of us took up the whole space!
• The van was finished in under 20 minutes.  Everyone worked on my car.  We were still the only people there.
• When it came time to pay, one man said to me, "I see you brought a coupon!" and scanned a coupon he had next to him.
• Then I left, and the second man went and opened the van door for Charlie. 
• As I started the van and buckled my seatbelt, 3 cars pulled up and got in line for their own oil changes.

My clever Facebook status faded from my 'to-do when I get home' list.  I thought about all the ways I constantly wish for things, hope for things, and envision things that would make my life more manageable.  God is caring for me day by day, in ways I don't even notice because I'm so wrapped up in my own ideas.  Now, don't get me wrong--I still think my idea for an oil change place that caters to moms is brilliant!--but I'm doing my best to see and appreciate God's provision in my every day life.  And it's all I truly need.