Tonight, I'm "just" a mom.
And it's absolutely wonderful. Amazing. A gift from God.
Actually, 4 gifts from God.
Because one week and 2 days ago, Charlie went from being a "foster child" to becoming my son.
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Four years ago, we began our journey of fostering with the desire to adopt. While I know God called us to follow that path, I've grown in ways I never could have imagined--or, quite frankly, never desired. Would I have said 'yes' to God if I had known it would take 4 years to adopt? Would I have said 'yes' if I had known the journey would lead me to say, "Whatever you need, Lord, and I'll still foster even if we never adopt."? Would I have said 'yes' to not only sitting alongside a birth mother at the pediatrician's office to praying for her, to rooting for her as she took steps to regain her parental rights, to truly calling her my friend?
No. I would have said 'no'. I would have told God that I'm not that strong, I can't do short-term placements, and I'm not willing to show others the grace & forgiveness that You show me.
Goodness, God is patient! And so very wonderful. Because over the past four years, my heart has broken--and then softened--to not only the needs around me, but to the people who are doing what they can to make a difference. I find myself praying for and being inspired by one of the sweetest families I have ever met, as they follow God's call to foster and not adopt. I'm more aware of the families within my church and town who foster, have fostered, or have adopted (regardless of the child's birthplace). I get excited--and then anxious--and then prayerful--as I watch a precious friend's "foster to adopt" journey take so many twists & turns, and I long for the day she gets to declare, 'this is my son.'
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Tonight, I'm "just" a mom.
And it's absolutely wonderful. Amazing. A gift from God.
But I cannot wait until I can once again be declared a "foster mom"....whatever the outcome.
