Praise God for Caseworkers {especially mine}.

I'll never forget that first phone call.  The first time I heard her voice.  The first time I heard her name.

"Hi, my name is Devan and I've been assigned as Allie's caseworker.  Can I come over in an hour to meet her?  My supervisor will be coming, too."

Allie* was a precious 6 month old who had come to us a few days prior.  Because her placement had occurred over the weekend, we knew a caseworker for our new foster daughter wouldn't be assigned until Monday.  It was now that day.

I rushed around the house; picking up toys, straightening pillows on the couch, putting dishes in the dishwasher; praying that not only would my house pass inspection, but that I would, too.  We had only had one short term placement within the past 5 months--that was after the 1 year "sabbatical" we had taken because we questioned if we had misread God's plan for us to become foster parents.

Fostering was still a very new, unknown road for our family.

As I held Allie against my hip with one hand and wiped off the kitchen counter with the other, there was a knock at the door.  I took a deep breath (maybe even two deep breaths) and opened the door.  But instead of seeing two people, I only saw one.

"Hi there!  I'm Devan.  We realized this morning I had enough hours in to come by myself, so my supervisor didn't need to come with me."

Oh, no.  Someone brand new?  Paired with foster parents who still don't have a clue about how this whole thing works?  Cases are all so unique, so different.  I hope I can handle this!

~~~~~~~~~~~~

That conversation, and my first interactions with Devan, took place exactly 3 years ago.  Allie didn't stay in our home for very long (her godmother desired to keep Allie until mom could get her back), but I enjoyed that little bit of time with both Allie and Devan.  It was clear God had called us to foster, regardless of the outcome.

Then, two months after Allie left, we got a call to take in a 3 week old baby boy.  Once the investigator placed him in our home, it triggered for our agency to have his case.  And the caseworker?  Devan.

I wasn't as nervous this time, and Devan appeared more relaxed and confident, too.  Not only did Charlie become our first long term placement, but by the time he was 6 months old we knew he was going to become our first adoption.  The length of time from Charlie's placement in our home to his adoption was 18 months.

• 18 months in which Devan not only spent time developing a relationship with Charlie, but with our family, too.  
• 18 months in which Devan began bringing new caseworkers with her when we had court hearings, home visits, and an adoption home study.  During that time I watched the former newbie become a very capable and qualified trainer.
• 18 months that, when they ended due to the adoption, left me a little sad because Devan had no reason to come to our house anymore.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

But God, in a way that can only be explained as His Perfect Plan, gave us Devan as a caseworker not once, but twice, during 2014.  Both cases are still open and active, right within our home.  Two cases that, while completely separate from one another, connect together in ways that are truly unbelievable.  And the only other person walking step by step on this crazy, amazing, surreal road of court hearings, home visits, and case reviews is Devan.

• Devan, who now teaches Domestic Violence classes at our agency.
• Devan, who just this month began working on gaining her Master's Degree.
• Devan, who I believe will walk the tough, hectic, and burdensome road of being a social worker for a very long time.

And I'm forever grateful.


*name changed

Blessings in my Every Day Life

Last week, I had a clever Facebook status in my head that I couldn't wait to type.  And as I drove around town, I believed I could turn the status into a witty and funny blog post.  The gist of it went something like this:

If any entrepreneurs are looking for a booming new business idea, here ya go--oil change stations geared towards moms that allow everyone to stay in the car during an oil change!

The blog would've expanded on fun ideas involving Starbucks coffee delivered to your driver window, and clean bathrooms with diaper changing stations for those who had a desire to exit their vehicles.  And so on, and so forth.

The truth is, I was extremely overdue for an oil change.  And while I manage (albeit barely)  a 2 year old, 10 month old, and 4 month old at doctor appointments, the thought of attempting an oil change with my 3 little ones wasn't something I've had the energy to tackle.  My excuse list is long and very legit.  If only we could stay in the car!  Then everything would be 'perfect'.

The day I came up with my fun oil change idea was the day before Mike & I were driving to Chicago.  I was at my parents' house.  And when I left my parents' I was heading to my sister's house to let out her dog.  Guess what's directly on the route from Point A to Point B?  My stinking oil change station!!

Guilt & responsibility overtook me and I turned down the street of The Grease Spot.  I took a deep breath and prepared to 'stick it out' and not just drive past it.  Lord, help me!

• Not one single car was at The Grease Spot.  At 12:30.  No one.  No. One.
• I was greeted by 2 kind and efficient gentleman who have previously worked on the van.  One ran over and opened the store's door for me.
• I got to wait in the tiny waiting room all alone.  Which is good, because the 4 of us took up the whole space!
• The van was finished in under 20 minutes.  Everyone worked on my car.  We were still the only people there.
• When it came time to pay, one man said to me, "I see you brought a coupon!" and scanned a coupon he had next to him.
• Then I left, and the second man went and opened the van door for Charlie. 
• As I started the van and buckled my seatbelt, 3 cars pulled up and got in line for their own oil changes.

My clever Facebook status faded from my 'to-do when I get home' list.  I thought about all the ways I constantly wish for things, hope for things, and envision things that would make my life more manageable.  God is caring for me day by day, in ways I don't even notice because I'm so wrapped up in my own ideas.  Now, don't get me wrong--I still think my idea for an oil change place that caters to moms is brilliant!--but I'm doing my best to see and appreciate God's provision in my every day life.  And it's all I truly need.

Beyond being Tired--Obeying isn't about Me; It's about my Savior

Lord, I am SO tired.  Please, help me to not become weary!!

Those are the words that I poured out to God this morning as I crawled out of bed.  To be honest, I felt my other option was to sit & have a good hard cry in the corner of my bedroom before starting my day--but ain't nobody got time for that!  While I could have justified crying in the corner, even in my exhausted state I knew it was not the proper path to choose.

You see, for the past three (or is it four?) nights, our "little kids" haven't slept through the night.  They haven't gotten up just one time, but 2-4 times.  And to make things even more difficult, the 3 kids have managed to wake up at the same time or overlap every single time.  Mike and I tag team very well, but juggling a 2 year old, 9 month old, and 4 month old at 2:00am is no longer feeling comical.  We have truly entered, "You have GOT to be kidding me!" territory.

I love my life.  I enjoy having six kids in the house, and treasure how God led us down a path--and kid count--we never could've imagined.  And I love that God called us to be foster parents.  That He gave us a son who is 100% ours when we held no expectations for that to be our fostering outcome.  That God has given us 2 little girls who light up our home and solidify that our walk of faith meant saying "yes" when common sense told us fostering 2 babies sounded insane.

But sometimes?  When I'm tired?  And the tiredness leads to a weariness that affects me emotionally & spiritually? My life feels a little lonely.  And too hectic.  And I wonder why God chose me.  And, in the midst of my questions, my life takes an inward focus; I become absorbed in a pity party that's all about me.  After snapping at my 14 year old this morning simply due to my own selfishness, I realized I had to find a way to have quiet time in the Word--even though it wasn't what I really desired.

I pulled out my Bible, and began reading the same passage I have read all week--hoping that the words would 'stick' today.  And as I read, I remembered something:  I hadn't watched the sermon from church when we were out of town 2 weeks ago.  I thought of all the reasons I didn't have time to watch it this morning, but the following words pressed into my heart: weren't they the same reasons you'd had all week? Watch the sermon.

Because Mike is on staff at our church, I knew some of the general points of the sermon.  I knew Pastor Steve was sharing about the ministry connection our church is building within the foster care community (already a huge passion of mine).  And I knew a video of 2 of my favorite couples had been played telling of their foster care journey, a story of which I was already familiar.  But what I didn't expect was to be stirred by the passage that was presented out of Zechariah:

"Thus says the LORD of hosts, Render true judgements, show kindness and mercy to one another, do not oppress the widow, the fatherless, the sojourner, or the poor, and let none of you devise evil against another in your heart"  Zechariah 7:9-10

And combined with the words spoken from the Bible, Steve added an element that hit close to home: it is an act of obedience to follow those verses.

Obedience. I can often fall into the foolishness of, "God, see how I'm serving you?  I'm exhausted, Lord, but I know you want me to serve in this way!  Do you see me?  Look here at what I'm doing for you!"  

Obedience.  It means I'm looking not how I am serving God, but how He expects me to obey His commands.

Obedience.  For me?  The fatherless Zechariah mentions?  They are living IN my home.  I needed to realize that obeying God's call differs from the selfish view that I simply serve out of my "own" kindness.

I finished watching the sermon, and found I was sitting up straighter.  I wasn't slumped in defeat, but embracing the job God said to complete.  And my current desire?  To complete that call to obedience; in my heart, in my actions, and in my attitude.  And it's so much easier to accomplish when I don't make it about me, but I see my whole journey as a way to obey my Savior.

To view Pastor Steve McGinnis's message, click on the following link:
http://www.harvestpeoria.org/watch/his-heart-my-worship/

How I Describe the Kids {biological, adopted & foster} who Live in my House

If you are a foster parent, it can be tricky to describe your family as well as your kid count.  Throw in the dynamics of short term placements, long term placements with a return home goal, or long term placements that are heading towards you (or someone else) adopting that child, and you may find yourself attempting various ways & terms to describe your family.

A couple of years ago (after bumbling myself through the best way to describe how we sometimes had "extra" kids and a couple weeks later would have only "our" kids), I came up with a phrase that has worked beautifully in describing all the kids in our household at any given time.  If you are a foster parent, have foster siblings, or know a foster family, please feel free to use, share, and modify my phrase to best describe your family!

We currently have 6 children.  Four are officially ours.

In its most basic form, those words properly describe my kids without needing to give any additional details.  Because sometimes, the basic info is the most appropriate or--truth be told--all I desire to share.

Here is how I add extra info in various layers if I want to provide more information:

We currently have 6 children.  Four are officially ours.  

• Kaitlin is 14.
• Connor is 12.
• Kylie is 10.
• And Charlie is 2.
• We also have two foster daughters; K who is 9 months, and B who is 4 months.

Sometimes I give the kids' names as well as their ages, and sometimes I don't (I'm not typing the babies' names here, but will say them when I use this scenario).  When I'm getting to know someone on a more personal level, I will share the fact that Charlie is adopted.  But I never provide that as primary information.

Because Mike is part of the pastoral staff at our church, every few months we host a First Connections lunch after service so newcomers can learn not just info about the church, but also get to know the pastors, directors, and their families a little bit better.  It was during those lunches that I honed in on the best way to describe our family to an audience.  Charlie was a baby, and it was so neat how his description changed every few months.

Flashback to the journey of Charlie (leaving out the big kids as their info remained consistent):

1. And Charlie, who we are fostering, is 2 months.
2. And our foster son Charlie is 7 months, and we just began his adoption process.
3. And Charlie is 14 months, and we will complete his adoption out of foster care this fall.
4. And Charlie is 18 months, and last week went from being our foster son to becoming our son!

I don't know what the future holds for our baby girls, but I know a couple of things:  I wholeheartedly love & claim them while they are living with us, and I enjoy sharing that we are foster parents in a way that doesn't 'dismiss' the girls from being an important part of our family.  May you find the same complete, individual way to describe your own household!  ~LeAnne

{About} The Man I Married

I once dated a 'nice Christian guy' who shared these lovely words:

If I ever cheat on you, it's because my dad cheated on my mom.

I wish I could say I said "see ya!" right then & there.  Honestly, I still can't believe I didn't react at all.  He was attending college an hour east of home, and I was attending school 2 1/2 hours west of home.  By that point in time, I couldn't see our relationship lasting forever anyway.  It was merely a relationship of convenience.

A month or so later, I decided we were truly done--but, you'll never hear me call him a liar!

Then there was the next guy I dated. The one I would would marry.  His parents hadn't had a good relationship, either--he had never witnessed them particularly liking each other, let alone being in love.  And you know what he said to me?

I really like you.  And I want to date only you.

And as our relationship deepened and the topic of marriage was starting to near, he said:

I'm getting married once. For life. For love. If there's a chance we won't have that, we can't get married.

And I'll never forget the night we sat on my parents' deck, and with tears in his eyes & a quiver in his voice he whispered:

I just want to be a good dad.

It will be 19 years ago this month that the conversations with Mike began.  The conversations in which our relationship grew and deepened.  When I gained a more serious view of marriage--not just because I wanted to marry Mike, but because he took wisdom and insight from his parents' failed marriage and shared with me (a girl whose parents were still married to each other) that commitment isn't something to take for granted.

And over the years, Mike has gotten it right, time & time again.  He not only loves me unconditionally, but continues to be my best friend.  He doesn't waste time pouring into appearances--instead, he puts the effort into relationships with his wife, kids, and friends.  We rarely look 'perfect'--and that is exactly Mike's goal.

Today, I look at Mike's role as daddy, and tears well up in my eyes as I see all his fears were for naught.  From attending nearly every kids activity, to coaching when his schedule allows, to driving kids to doctor appointments & movie theaters, he has fully embraced his role as we parent together.  Right now we are entering unknown territory--2 kids in jr high who need to start being guided in making right choices and with whom he discusses what does it mean to 'like someone'?  We have a 2 year old who needs to start potty training, a foster daughter who will most likely become our little girl within the next year, another foster baby who we cherish as our own but will most likely return to her birth mom, and a 10 year old daughter who needs to not get lost in the midst of it all.  For every dynamic, he is there.

Mike, thank you for putting God first and me and the kids immediately after.  I can't imagine a better example of who our girls need to fall for and who our boys need to model.  I love you! ~LeAnne

Today I Chose Beauty

Step inside my home today, and you will see a mess. But what you can't see? What's already gone? Well, you truly missed the best moment. But I didn't. Not today. Because today I chose Beauty.

Things started well enough--three kids tucked away at school until 3:00. One toddler at preschool for 90 minutes, and a 3 month old who would be asleep that entire time. The only one left was the 8 month old who, while rather busy in her own right, is very content to sit in the living room and play with her toys.

It was the perfect time to get the main level of our house clean & tidy.

Now, I'll never claim to have the entire house "show-ready". To be honest, I gave up on that a few years ago. And, with 6 kids living here (combined with my NOT Type-A personality), survival mode takes precedence. But I really like to have the living room, dining area, and kitchen look decent whenever I get the chance. Today, even the bathroom was on the list. I grabbed the Windex, the roll of paper towels, and headed for the bathroom mirror.  As the water stains disappeared and the glass glistened, I heard one of my favorite sounds; the clip-clop of the 8 month old crawling to find me.

I glanced her way and knew I had plenty of time to finish the mirror. I could even spray & wipe the faucet before she'd reach me.  Then, I could grab her, put her back with her toys, and complete my next task.

She made it all the way to my feet, and I scooped her into my arms.
And she laughed.
Laugher that contains a throaty growl despite her dainty frame.
Laughter that makes her have to stop and catch her breath.
Laughter that I pray is present for years to come.

Beauty didn't see a messy house; she only saw her mama.

And I'll never regret that I stopped, saw, and chose her.

A Love List from my Husband

Two weeks ago, Mike and I celebrated our 17th anniversary.  It wasn't full of fanfare or romance.  Quite the opposite, in fact, as Mike was 5 hours away running an ultra marathon with friends, and I was home with 6 kids.  But before he came home, he posted the following list on my Facebook page.  The list, I think, says far more about him than it does me.  Mike loves me completely and unconditionally.  We do life together--the busy, the crazy, the stressful, the funny, the unbelievable, and the mundane.  In every way, I am so thankful for him, because he is a part of every aspect of my life.  So here is the list he gave me--I truly pray other wives get to experience this same devotion and gratitude.  ~LeAnne

Happy Anniversary to my incredible wife. Why do I love her???

1. She loves Jesus (most important)!
2. She is such a hard worker. LeAnne puts me to shame.
3. She is okay without having "things".
4. She's thrifty!
5. She is funny. I love her sense of humor. Something a lot of people never get to see.
6. She takes care of our family so lovingly, selflessly, and with sacrifice.
7. She puts other people first.
8. She follows my lead and trusts me.
9. Every time she changes one of the little kids diapers, she kisses their feet. Even at 3 am. I've seen it.
10. She puts up with me.
11. She is a faithful servant at church.
12. She's hot. I wanted to put this higher but it seemed too predictable. But it's true.
13. She's beautiful. Truly beautiful.
14. She's honest and tells me what I need to hear.
15. She's a great encourage rand cheerleader.
16. She uses her blinker. I love how she follows the rules. And how she hates when I park in the fire lane to pick up pizza.
17. She's consistent. I am so blessed to have been married to this wonderful, beautiful and sweet woman for 17 years.
Love you!
Mike